Responsibility is something that we do not see, but start to realise slowly. It is just like an invisible football. At the beginning, you are always hit by it because you do not see it coming, & you can't handle it at all. After you get knocked down plenty, you learn to catch the ball when it comes, although blindly. As you get accustomed to your job, you can start to predict where it will come from & how to dribble it well. Then you learn to pass the ball to others. You may kick it too hard & hit your own teammates, or throw in a clumsy manner. However, that will improve when your start acquiring the new skill of deflecting the ball away. You learn to reject a pass by deflecting the ball to someone else, even before catching it. By then, you would have mastered the physical laws that govern the movement of the ball and can predict where the ball will come & go. Finally you will learn to score a goal, where you bring the ball right into the door of your superior.
While you can score a goal with a one-man show; in this world, the workplace is like a 11-man footbal TEAM. You are brought together with a common target: to survive. However, everyone's goals are different. That's why it is often a group playing a team's game.
No matter how good a commentator you are, or how accurate you are at predicting goals, you will never understand how the ball moves unless you play on the field personally. It is only then that you can understand both the player & the ball; the team & the importance of victory. Responsibility is just like experience; no amount of words of advice can bring out any amount of meaning.
& I am just tired & dejected from the amount of work pressure that responsibility can bring to you. People are always being kind; instead of expanding their territories, they let you take over their spheres of responsiblity. Coming straight out from school & working in NS now, I've learnt that there is nothing friendly about that 1st smile a working partner gives to you. Responsiblity flows more fluid than water down along the hierachy, & as it gets deeper, it gets sludgier; finally it gets stuck (you've guessed it), not right at the bottom, but somewhere just below the middle, like your water pipe, your blood vessels. All it needs is a little mistake, a little sludge by the inner side of the pipe, a little lump of fat in your vessel, & it will attract those that come along & grow to an exponential size so fast that you are out of breath even before you have taken in the first. The snowball effect. The "being-arrowed" feeling. Deadliest, fast & lethal. No one can escape from responsibility, because I have yet to understand the world yet. Maybe someday all will be enlightened, the day when all shall be revealed. But that day has not seen any light, yet. Responsibility works just like energy; it cannot be destroyed, it is merely converted to other forms (motivation or depression), and passed on to other objects (superior or subjects). If you think you have escaped, take a look around at all those suffering in your place. You can try kicking the ball out of court but there will always be another one thrown in immediately.
Unity is strength, if you have a superior that will stand up for you, applaud for the victory of your team. If you have teammates that are willing to take the hit & catch the ball, you have good strikers, & aggressive defenders who always make the 1st move, you have a World Cup team. However, such teams are not formed with payoffs or $ contracts. They cannot be bought, but only organised with trust. Trust is a glue thicker than blood, stronger in faith, & works best when spread.
Anyways, I was having some huge problem in the evening because the ball was kicked out of court straight into my home. It was a last-minute pass & I didn't have time to react. I was never taught any tactics to respond to this trick, & an opponent's goal seemed eminent any moment. Almost on the edge of despair but inability to give up, I tried to pass the ball away but everytime it gets kicked back to me, it gets bigger. Uh-oh, the snowball effect that will bring up all the dirt & dust from the past. Suddenly it seems that all faults are belong to me. But then all of a sudden, the referee intercepted & the storm just dispersed as quickly as the clouds had gathered.
All things have two sides of explanation. If you can't see the truth in your side of the story, you are good as gone. Many stories only tell one side of the event, so you must be optimistic & stand up for yourself. If you don't, who is going to? Always speak in a direct, definite one-way manner, be specific & narrow so nobody can U-Turn your words. Especially organise your thoughts into a continuous progressive line, supported with a parallel string of evidence & proof, instead of a dotted line of broken views. Follow your views through & never, at any time, consider the possibility of the other party; because then you will have a head-on collision & be sorry you were ever here in the 1st place.
Workplace relationships is but one of the social relationships we have to deal with; but i'm already getting wary of all of it, even before I have started working as an adult. Maybe because I think too much? I still dream of a countryside life on the green plains of Switzerland... how much is a peace of mind selling for? & how far away is the road to freedom, can it ever be measured with a string of happy thoughts?
I wish i knew, but the only thing i know is that i know nothing.
~Sighing off~
Sounds like a nice flavour! Not your usual berry fruity flavours, but tangy sweet & sour lemonies! Can't wait to try it haha... & i like the branding of the stuff, talking about pure earth food & WWF support, instead of how many added Vitamins & minerals. Eat for the sake of enjoying the food! Vitamins are not tasty, & there is a balance of different types of vitamins in every food. If you want to take in more vitamins, then plan the diet well & eat a diverse course of food. But that's not as horrible as artificial colours & flavours. They may rarely be found in daily supermarket products anymore, but they are still common in unpackaged & unlabelled local food such as those you get from the confectionary shop or the market.